What do I Know? I’m just a Clown : March / Apr. 2026

What do I know? I’m Just a Clown
March / Apr. 2026
advice by Martin “the Clown” Barry

Dear Clown,
A family living in my neighborhood is actively annoying most of the residents in the area. My place does not have a homeowner’s association, part of the appeal for my decision to purchase, but this family has started nagging about specific items as though they had established and started running an HOA. I have confirmed this with other residents in the area and shared notes left in mailboxes. I would like to take the lead in getting these people to stand down, but I am not certain how to approach.
Sincerely, Resident

Dear Resident,
This is certainly unpleasant. It seems that you would like to have a discussion with this family before taking on a stern stance and that is always good. Neighbors communicating directly will strengthen a community. The actions that they have taken seem rather hostile as described and they could point to something worse. Does this family genuinely think that your neighborhood has an HOA and are they paying dues to someone as part of a scam? Do they have a desire to establish an HOA? Start with a diplomatic approach introducing yourself and explaining that there is no HOA. If they are resistant, there are legal channels to pursue to get them to stand down since this is harassment. Fun fact: Epsom salt is high in magnesium and magnesium is the central atom in chlorophyll. If Epsom salt is made available to plants or grass, the plants get super green where applied. I don’t know why I included this fun fact, but I felt you should know about it.
Seriously, no idea what you could do with that Epsom salt thing, Clown

Dear Clown,
Is cereal soup?
Sincerest, UNyun

Dear UNyun,
While cold cereals may seem to qualify as a soup, soups are traditionally made with savory ingredients simmered together. Cold cereals are solids food items submerged in milk, but since the cereal is not formed by or otherwise processed by the milk, this would not qualify as a soup. Possible exceptions: Farina, Cream of Wheat, and Oatmeal.
Eat up! Clown

Dear Clown,
I have a balance question. How do I protect my physical, mental, and emotional health in this dystopian, Orwellian country while simultaneously trying to be an activist?
Sincerely, Weggs

Dear Weggs,
Life in general takes a lot of energy. Adding activism can double that. Remember that the best you can do is the best you can do. You must allow time to maintain, do something meditative, and rest and you are not obligated to attend every rally or march. The best part of all this is interacting with like-minded people to boost our outlook and hope. Please also remember that activism is available in our consumer habits as well. We vote with our dollars daily, so support the businesses that don’t work against people.
Know justice, know peace. Clown

Dear Clown,
My boss is always gaslighting me. Should I randomly rearrange things in his office until he loses his mind?
Sincerely, K

Dear K,
What a maddeningly fun idea!! I think you should do this. Just be absolutely certain you are never caught and don’t let any co-workers in on it or allow them to help. Keep no notes on what is moved and leave no trail.
Get latex gloves, Clown

Dear Clown,
One of my friends has been disturbing me lately. We attend and cosplay at conventions for comics and other cultures and normally have lots of fun. Lately, she has been overly critical of other cosplayers and has criticized some that are obviously new to cosplay to their faces. This has completely soured my desire to be around her. The problem I am facing now is that we have a cosplay booth at the next event. I am having doubts about whether I can tolerate her for one more event. What can I do?
Sincerely, SG

Dear SG,
Nobody likes it when people take the fun out of what they do. Drop her and do the next event on your own. If the organizers want both of you, then cancel. This person is not worthy of the higher profile they are enjoying with you.
Fly high, Clown

Do you have a question for the Clown? Write him at [email protected]

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