What Do I Know? I’m Just a Clown.
January / February 2026
Advice from Martin “the Clown” Barry
Dear Clown,
I have noticed a change in the behavior of one of my relatives. This change became even more apparent during our recent extended family gatherings. This person has always been a bit narcissistic, but now they seem to have a need to top every story we tell, or event we describe. A small group of us tested this by discussing an event I made up and I began talking to them about it as a bait. Sure enough, this person swooped in, made it about them again, and tried to top the story. We were all just staring and completely silent. They never stopped. Some of us are thinking about avoiding attendance at these family events if this person is going to be present. What would you do?
Sincerely, Offput
Dear Offput,
This doesn’t sound fun at all. There are other ways to avoid or temporarily stop this without cheating yourself out of visits with your extended family. Come armed with some off the cuff activities or contests that you can announce loudly when the behavior begins. Once those options are exhausted, you can ask others to “help you with something” and walk away for a bit. If this is persistent through those options, just interrupt with a cookie, drink, or other item that they “simply must try right now.”
Keep the odds in your favor, Clown
Dear Clown,
My mother passed two years ago. I am thankful that she is no longer suffering, but I am rather upset that nothing is as good without her. Vacations, birthdays and holidays are just kind of flat. We repeat some of the traditions she kept, but it never feels the same. This rut and the lingering grief seem impossible to overcome. Is there any way out?
Sincerely, Broken
Dear Broken,
Grief and love are the longest lasting things in our lives and they are interchangeable since grief is what love becomes when it has nowhere to go. These are also best shared so that we do not feel overwhelmed and alone. For the heaviest parts, some counseling is never a bad thing. For the rest of this burden, you might choose to start some new traditions, explore new ways to make occasions special, or extend kindness to others in a myriad of ways. Start with something small and continue building. You made your mother proud, now do the same for you.
Let love take you, Clown
Dear Clown,
Why is it that, whenever someone says, “bear with me,” they never actually have a bear with them?
Sincerely, UNyun
Dear UNyun,
This remains one of life’s great mysteries. Not even a small teddy bear to be found at times. It’s an awful tease.
Howl with me, Clown
Dear Clown,
I am a recent college graduate, and I am finishing an internship with a great company that shows me I am valued and has recently interviewed me for a suggested permanent position. The only problem I have with this is that I absolutely loathe this line of work, and I feel like I will be trapped in it forever. There are many other professions that I would pursue, but my educational background may not be a fit. Anxiety fills my entire body when I think of the job offer that is coming and it only increases when I think about alternatives. What is my best path?
Sincerely, Professionally frightened
Dear Professionally frightened,
Stop and take a deep breath with me. Breathe in. Hold. Now exhale and shake your shoulders a bit to relax. Repeat, if needed. What you are feeling is normal. The difference between you and several others is that you are completely honest with yourself. None of us grow up dreaming about boxing ourselves into a single occupation. The path that has been fed to us repeatedly has been rigged against us repeatedly, too. If you cannot stand to perform the work you are about to be offered, then just turn it down with kindness and gratitude. It seems that they treated you well, so you can always do the same. List out things that you love to do and make connections on how you could make these your work. Even if you take the position for a time and explore these options, it will work out well in your framework of honesty. The degree you have will serve to get you into more doors than you imagine. It never has to be a singular path. Be a stuntperson accountant, a food truck operating broadcaster, or a voiceover acting shirt designer. Limits are only placed on us by us.
Get ‘em, Clown
Do you have a question for the Clown? Write him at [email protected] .
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