What do I Know? I’m just a Clown : Nov. / Dec. 2017
“Ask the Clown” : an advice column by Martin “the Clown” Barry
Nov. / Dec. 2017 issue of My City Magazine
I just found out that my uncle is involved in one of those videos showing police violence against people and he has been recognized by some friends of the family. He was placed on paid leave during the investigation and he is now reinstated on full time patrol. I watched this video. He is the third to arrive and comes in swinging his baton at the legs of the suspect. I do not know how to talk with him about this. Help?
I cannot imagine how it must feel to have family in one of these videos on either side of the conflict. My best advice is for you to consider that no punishment was assigned to him for this incident and have a discussion with him about what happened. If the discussion includes some remorse for response to a high tension situation and he was just doing as trained, then things can be normal between you two. If, however, he makes jokes about it or acts like he was carrying out some righteous plan, then you may have a rift that cannot be healed.
Peace signs on police cars,
Every time I go to my favorite spot, there is a woman there that I know who gives me the stink eye every single time I see her. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how I have wronged this individual and it would be nice to have a little peace. What would you suggest?
The Nice Lady
Dear Nice Lady,
Next time you see her, just hug her and tell her it is good to see her. She will either come to peace with the situation or get a restraining order. As someone that gets a LOT of stink eye, I would just let it go and laugh it off, though.
It will be OK,
My parents divorced when I was a child and I spend time at each residence while I am attending college locally. My mother re-married almost too quickly after their divorce and my father did not even date anyone until recently. Now that he has started dating someone, she is always at his place, which I don’t mind. The problem I have is that I can hear them “doing things” when I spend the night there and one night, they left the door open and I saw them “doing things.” My father’s girlfriend looked right at me and smiled. I am thinking that I may never go back, but I love my dad and I don’t want to hurt him. What would you do?
Dear Put Off,
I would… (sorry… I just threw up again). PLEASE have a discussion with your father about this and I am certain he will hold off “activities” while you are staying at his place. If this problem remains, then you may have no choice but to come over for day visits only until things cool down a bit between them. The part where she looked at you and smiled is a bit horrifying. (I hope she sees this.) The most important part is that this does not damage your relationship with your father. I am confident that you two have enough respect for each other to make this better.
She really looked at you and smiled??
My mother has made some big charitable donations this year. My siblings and I are concerned that she will give too much away and that nothing will be left when she is gone. How can we get her to back off of these donations?
Two of Five
Dear Greedy… I mean Two of Five,
It seems to me that your mother can do as she pleases with her assets. Charitable donations are not a bad thing at all. If she gives away every penny, that is her choice. Unless she is giving away assets to the point where she lives in a hovel eating cat food from cans, this is not something I would consider problematic. If there are significant assets left when she is gone, I hope you get the smallest bit or nothing at all. When is the last time you visited her?
Love over money,
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