Ask the Clown : Jan. / Feb. 2015

Written by Martin Barry

What do I Know? I’m just a Clown : January / February 2015
“Ask the Clown” : an advice column by Martin “the Clown” Barry

Ask the Clown

Dear Clown,

Do you remember your first high school love and are you still in touch to this day? What are your thoughts on keeping that line of communication open? 

High School Sweetheart

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Dear High School Sweetheart,

I do remember my first high school love and we are indeed in touch. First love is a first expansion of yourself through something deeper than friendship. It is the first time you trust your heart to another and really get to know what that person is about. For me, the experience was unforgettable. Keeping that line of communication open is a good thing. The friendship always remains and you get the privilege of seeing each other build lives and happiness.


Dear Clown,

I recently reunited via internet with a high school classmate. He also happened to be my first boyfriend and my first love. We had not spoken for more than 20 yrs., but reconnecting felt wonderful. I would love to see him again, but wonder if us seeing each other after all this time would somehow take away from those cherished memories I hold so dear.


Confused Cheercat

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear Confused Cheercat, 

If reconnecting with this person felt good, it would likely be the same in person. People that enrich our lives are always good to have around. The world is full of people that will make demands that sap your energy and spirit. If this one is a boost to your soul, there are likely many good memories to come.


Dear Clown,

My friend and I recently had a discussion that shocked me. We have been friends since grade school, but what we discussed was something I would never have seen coming. My friend came out to me as gay and I was not prepared for it. I just said, “OK” and left it at that. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings or make him think that this changes anything. What should I do?


Worried Friend

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear Worried,

I don’t think your reaction was negative in any way if your reaction was just “OK.” If you feel the need to reassure your friend that this revelation has no impact on your friendship, then do so. Friends that have come out to me in the past have said that it took time to work up the nerve to do so and I respect their courage. I do wish that it was not so intimidating for our LBGT brothers and sisters to just be who they are in any context. I hope your friendship continues.



Do you have a question for The Clown? Write him at

Martin Barry   Martin Barry
Visit Author Page |

Newsletter Sign Up

Subscribe today to receive a weekly email with Charlotte events by emailing "SUBSCRIBE" to and thank you.