Ask the Clown : Nov. / Dec. 2014

Written by Martin Barry


Ask The ClownWhat do I Know? I’m just a Clown : November / December 2014
“Ask the Clown” : an advice column by Martin “the Clown” Barry

Dear Clown,

I am contemplating attending my high school reunion. The effort would require travel, arrangements for the children during the event, tickets for myself and my husband, and at least two days off work. The trouble is, I had only a handful of friends in high school and I was often ignored or treated poorly by a number of my classmates. I want to see the people that I do care about, but I am not certain it will be worth the effort. I was wondering what you would suggest.

Sincerely, Face in the Crowd

Dear Face,

I find it astounding that we pay admission to be made to feel like we felt in high school at the hands of certain people. The torments are still present in spite of the fact that so much more shapes our lives and personalities after those four years. It is also sad that those that were the source of that torment often forget and look right through us like none of it meant a thing to them.

I would suggest saving yourself and your family the hassle of attending something that you dread a bit. If your friends live close, or you can agree on a centralized location, set up something for your group to have fun and face time. Most importantly, never let the relationships you treasure fade away.

Dear Clown,

I am at a point in my life where the majority of my friends are married and starting families. I am still single. I would love to have a family one day, but it seems harder and harder to find available females that are seeking the same. I am quite busy with my job, but I make time to get out to the same spots that I have patronized for the past few years. I feel like I am out of ideas. Help?

Sincerely, Seeking

Dear Seeking,

The first thing I want you to know is that there is no need to be in a hurry to establish a life with someone else. Do not let the pressures of your friends, family, or societal norms push you into anything.

I am certain that there are several like-minded females in this city and surrounding areas. The trouble may lie in the search location. Get out to new spots. Make time for museums, art classes, group activities that interest you, and volunteer for organizations that fit your passions. Within this context, you will increase the chances that someone fitting will come along.

Dear Clown,

I have a very troubling problem. I have fallen in love with a man that has baggage that I have never faced before. His children and his ex are no trouble, but he has a condition that could transfer to me if we become intimate partners. There are precautions that we can take, but the risk will still be present. I love him, but I don’t know what I should do to handle this. Help?

Sincerely, Clean and Confused

Dear Clean and Confused,

This may come off as cold, but I advise against risking your health or your life for anything. Not knowing the “condition” but having a clue as to how it could affect you is enough for me to say move on and stay “Clean.” A chronic condition can disallow you many other, and possibly better.

Dear Clown,

If my boyfriend doesn't want us to announce on Facebook that we are in a relationship, does that mean he is trying to hide something or just protect our relationship with privacy?

Signed, Just Checking

Dear JC,

This question is best asked one on one with your significant other. There are logical reasons for this as well as insidious reasons. Assuming that there is no ulterior motive, he may wish to keep this private due to some of his acquaintances being less than trustworthy, his family pressuring him to make a permanent life partner selection, or simply the fact that this item is on the internet and does not matter. My best advice is to discuss this and all other concerns as a couple.

Do you have a question for The Clown? Write him at

Photo from Ellen Gurley

Martin Barry   Martin Barry
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