Articles

Print
Apr
19

Ask the Clown : May / June 2017

Written by Martin Barry

What do I Know? I’m just a Clown : May / June 2017
“Ask the Clown” : an advice column by Martin “the Clown” Barry

Ask The ClownDear Clown,

Here’s a poser! I just moved from my townhouse in the milquetoast area of Ballantyne to a renovated house in Plaza/Shamrock as this area is more suited to my personality/career (I’m a graphic designer/musician/actor). The issue? Meeting like-minded, mainly, single women. I’m not a "bar goer” and I work from home. The catch? I relate better to younger people but, no matter how I try, I’m still 60 (often mistaken for my 40s; fit). I have no problem with younger women but many younger women have a problem with an older guy (hey! you’re my dad’s age!). Most of the women my age are, quite honestly, old! Old in style and spirit… that and/or very religious (or conservative). Doing and have done the dating sites, but it has yielded nothing. The “Meet-ups”… same thing, same people each time. I prefer something more “organic.” Suggestions?

Sincerely,
Searching

- - -

Dear Searching,

Venue changes are needed. It will be refreshing to step outside your comfort zone and try some new things. This will not only be helpful in seeing new faces, it will also help you see some new dimensions within yourself. Dating sites and meet-ups are quite stale, as you have noted.  For a more “organic” approach, try something brand new, like stand up paddle boarding, white water rafting, volunteering for beautification projects, or anything else you have not tried before. As you focus on the new activity, conversation with others tends to fall in naturally. I also suggest plotting out culinary tours of our fine city at least once per month. Put yourself in the more interactive areas of the places you go, even if it does mean sitting at a bar once in a while.

Happy Hunting!
The Clown

 


 

Dear Clown,

Following the death of a close relative, my family has been arguing over what is left behind in his estate. The will gives us the disposition of nearly everything he left, but some relatives are fighting this and insisting that they have claim to specific assets and valuables. They have retained lawyers to pursue these claims in some instances. The thing that they do not know is that I was named executor of this will and I was given a letter that was to be opened upon the death of my uncle. I have all I need to shut down the claims, but I feel like I should re-arrange a few things to allow everyone in the family to feel included and to be rid of this animosity. What do you suggest?

Sincerely,
Willing

- - -

Dear Willing,

I would recommend that you shut down all of the outside litigation with the will and the letter first. The next thing would be to have a family meeting and discuss your ideas on items that you would like to divide or re-distribute. Preface the conversation with a statement that any argument stemming from this conversation will result in the will standing as is.

Good luck!
The Clown

 


 

Dear Clown,

My workplace has suddenly become very uncomfortable. An unidentified co-worker has begun lodging complaints against me for the smallest things. My manager has approached me with these items and discussed them at a level of seriousness that made me wonder if I should be in fear for my job. I have never had any performance issues and I do not want these petty complaints to push me out of a job I have held for the past seven years. Help?

Sincerely,
Puzzled

- - -

Dear Puzzled,

This is certainly NOT a fun situation. Should you choose to stay, make changes to comply with whatever items were discussed and continue to do your job admirably. If that path seems too burdensome, begin the job search immediately so that you will not suffer from a gap in employment. Remember, even if you find out who lodged these complaints, vengeance is never a good thing.

Labor on,
The Clown

 


 

Dear Clown,

There is something bugging me that I just cannot let go of. I tend to get along with everyone I meet and I take an interest in learning about others. Recently, I met a person that I thought was quite fascinating and we had multiple enjoyable conversations. Sometime later, I heard from a friend that this person indicated that I made them feel uncomfortable and that they hoped that we would not speak again. For the life of me, I cannot figure out where that feeling came from. What can I do?

Sincerely,
The Nice One

- - -

Dear Nice One,

I admire your approach and I want you to remain buoyant and receptive, so I have the following item for your consideration. Let this go and put it out of your mind. Some people will never see the world and see others as you see them.

Stay positive,
The Clown

 


 

Do you have a question for The Clown? Write him at martin@mycitymagazine.net

Martin Barry   Martin Barry Visit Author Page | martin.barry@mycitymagazine.net


 

Newsletter Sign Up

Subscribe today to receive a weekly email with Charlotte events by emailing "SUBSCRIBE" to ellen.gurley@mycitymagazine.net and thank you.