Articles

Print
Feb
13

Ask the Clown: March / Apr. 2017

Written by Martin Barry

What do I Know? I’m just a Clown : March / April 2017
“Ask the Clown” : an advice column by Martin “the Clown” Barry

Ask The ClownDear Clown,

I am fed up with the constant divide between my family and friends. I feel like I cannot speak with anyone without some sort of tirade resulting. I am not OK with this and I feel like I should isolate myself just to stop it. Help?

Sincerely,
Just Be Nice

- - -

Dear Nice,

I am sure several readers can relate to this. It seems that civil dialogue has been forgotten lately. The funny thing is that a divided population is more readily controlled by leadership. This has happened throughout history and, since humans have a habit of never looking forward or backward, division and vitriol are more readily had. The best we can all do is to continue to forge ahead as communities, neighbors, and friends to make our part of this world the best it can be and foster inclusiveness. We need to remember that we are all in this together. In addition, never miss an opportunity to make a change at every level via votes by ballot or by where your dollars are spent.

Standing with you,
The Clown

________________________________________________

Dear Clown,

I have been married for ten years and I KNOW that my husband is having an affair. I have hard evidence of this. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I love him with all my heart and I want him to be happy. We have no children and I have never felt this marriage was anything less than good. I would be well within my rights to end the marriage, but I am considering staying. Any input?

Sincerely,
The Wife

- - -

Dear The Wife,

The first step here is to open a discussion between the two of you. This needs to be a calm, open, honest, and logical conversation, so allow time for his shock at your knowledge to settle. When you reach the point where you can have this discussion,  have a list of options available that are agreeable to you. Research the items you are not familiar with and write down a full description of boundaries for each. Include divorce, open marriage, and polyamory if these are acceptable for you. I hope that you always remember that your happiness counts in this arrangement and I wish you the best in whatever you pursue.

Good luck and good love,
The Clown

________________________________________________

Dear Clown,

I have been wanting to try some new things in my spare time, but I keep holding back due to input from friends or by the small voice in my head saying that I cannot do these things. I feel like I will be fine without attempting these activities, and I also feel that I will have regrets for not trying them when I am older. What is a girl to do?

Sincerely,
Yearning

- - -

Dear Yearning,

The best advice in these cases comes directly from Yoda, the Jedi Master. “Do, or do not. There is no try.” Don’t wait for motivation. Don’t listen to naysayers, even if the naysayer is yourself. Get out there and kick some *ss! This ride only happens once.

Living…
The Clown

________________________________________________

Dear Clown,

I have found myself pursuing someone wonderful and I am worried constantly. I don’t make a lot of money at work and I scrape by. How can I ever feel like enough?

Sincerely,
Ambitious

- - -

Dear Ambitious,

\As you refer to your someone as wonderful, I will assume that they are into you. Love finds us in all situations and acceptance follows. Put your worries away and build. Build the relationship and you will build each other. A positive situation like that will find you pursuing things that you had not considered before and, to quote Talking Heads, “You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife.”

No apprehensions,
The Clown
________________________________________________

Do you have a question for The Clown? Write him at martin@mycitymagazine.net

Martin Barry   Martin Barry Visit Author Page | martin.barry@mycitymagazine.net

 

 

Newsletter Sign Up

Subscribe today to receive a weekly email with Charlotte events by emailing "SUBSCRIBE" to ellen.gurley@mycitymagazine.net and thank you.